There are monsters under my bed.
They've been hanging out down there for over a month now, and apparently have no interest in leaving. Until now I guess I've coped. Before tonight I haven't lost too much sleep worrying about them. But tonight is different. My roommate is gone for the weekend and I have no one to check for them. And no one to tuck me in.
Oh man...they'll know I'm alone. And what's worse? My bedroom light just burned out when I walked in and flipped the switch.
Alone in the dark, with monsters under my bed.
I hear they can sense fear.
Luckily the widescreen on my HP laptop is pretty bright, and I have the internet to distract me from my worries and keep me awake. I know they are just waiting until I fall asleep and render myself completely defenseless. That's when they'll strike.
So I figured while I lie here awake, I might as well do a little research on my foe, learn their weaknesses, and prepare for battle. Bad idea. I once heard that the more you really get to know something, the less you are scared by it. Well that may or may not be true about mimes and circus clowns, but it's definitely false about the creepers lurking below me this very moment. After learning a little more about what I'm up against, now I definitely wont be able to sleep.
They reach their host by crawling, or sometimes by climbing the walls to the ceiling and dropping down on the unsuspecting victim. They are attracted by the warmth of humans, especially in the middle of a cold dark night like tonight. They feast on blood. The harvest is done by piercing the skin of their host with two hollow tubes protruding from their slimy mouths - one to withdraw the blood while the other so thoughtfully replaces the lost fluid with poisonous saliva. After a five-minute feeding period, they sneak back to their secret places of hiding.
And these buggers are virtually unstoppable! They've got no achilles heel: my wooden stakes and silver bullets wont do the trick, and I bet Kryptonite only makes them stronger.
The monsters are under my bed as I type, just waiting for the right moment to attack.
Look them up yourself; maybe you can help me figure out how to defeat the pests.
Until then, I think I'll go sleep on the couch.
Oh wow...that is intense. I know what you mean: When I was a little kid I was terrified of rattlesnakes so my parents put me in a bunch of classes about them so that I would learn more and not be so scared. It completely didn't work for me either and instead made me more terrified because I found out there were more of them around my town than I thought and I learned about all of the things that would make them attack. Learning all those things about your foe would not make me sleep any better either. Good luck fighting the bed bugs!
ReplyDelete